Us and Them Part 1
I know the truth; the truth about men. I know what we think about, why we think about those things, and how often we think about them. I know what makes us tick. I'm here to share it with you all. When I say "you all", I'm refering to women mainly. There are some things about guys that I think you should know. Obviously I can't explain every single thing, but I'll try to talk about the things that most women know about but might not understand, or the things that cause problems. Why am I doing this? Is it because I'm a nice guy? Well, yes, I am. However, the real reason is that I recently had some talks with, yep, you guessed it, women. And while the thoughts of one or a few women don't necessarily represent those of every woman, they obviously represent the thoughts of some. I hope that my next few blogs can clear some things up.
Note: When I say men or women, I'm obviously not speaking for every man or woman. It's a general statement.
I'm gonna start by diving into a big topic; attraction. Let's use Catherine Zeta-Jones as our example. She's beautiful. Michael Douglas is one lucky guy to be married to her. A lot of guys would want to be married to someone that looks like her. Can you blame them? No, you can't, because women also want to be married to an attractive person. Maybe they don't want to be married to some Brad Pitt look-alike, but physical attraction to the guy doesn't hurt. What I'm about to tell you may be shocking to you, so I'll start a new paragraph to explain it.
Not every guy cares about marrying some super gorgeous woman. Read that statement again. I know, it's shocking! These guys that I'm refering to care much more about who that woman is than what she looks like. If she has all the qualities he wants in a woman, but she isn't attractive, she's still the woman of his dreams! If she's cute, great, he'll be more than happy that she's perfect and that she's cute. Her appearance is only an added bonus. It had little or nothing to do with why he liked her.
Who are these guys!? What planet are they from, and when can you get a ride there? These guys exist here on Earth. They are not some other species. In fact, you probably know some of them. These are the virtuous guys you know from camp or the youth forum. Some of these guys were leaders in their dorms and gave speeches at camp. They came back as staff or counselors so they could see their friends and help set a good example. They asked good questions and had good answers on the youth forum. Maybe you weren't good friends with them, but you still trusted them. You couldn't say anything bad about them. I am good friends with people like this. I don't know all of these types of guys, but I know they are out there. They are looking for virtuous women. Just because a girl is really attractive does not mean that they like her or are interested in her. These truly good men will always choose an unatractive virtuous woman over a beautiful woman with some ok qualities.
Next time I plan on showing how the non-virtuous man thinks about these things and why there aren't many of these virtuous men out there. It will take a little while for everything to fit together, but be patient. I hope that my insights can help women better understand men, see that not all men are the same, and that we aren't as different from women as everyone else would like you to believe. Yes, men and women are different, that's why we're men and women! However, we're not a different species.
I hope this first installment has been helpful. Let me know what you think of it so far.
Note: When I say men or women, I'm obviously not speaking for every man or woman. It's a general statement.
I'm gonna start by diving into a big topic; attraction. Let's use Catherine Zeta-Jones as our example. She's beautiful. Michael Douglas is one lucky guy to be married to her. A lot of guys would want to be married to someone that looks like her. Can you blame them? No, you can't, because women also want to be married to an attractive person. Maybe they don't want to be married to some Brad Pitt look-alike, but physical attraction to the guy doesn't hurt. What I'm about to tell you may be shocking to you, so I'll start a new paragraph to explain it.
Not every guy cares about marrying some super gorgeous woman. Read that statement again. I know, it's shocking! These guys that I'm refering to care much more about who that woman is than what she looks like. If she has all the qualities he wants in a woman, but she isn't attractive, she's still the woman of his dreams! If she's cute, great, he'll be more than happy that she's perfect and that she's cute. Her appearance is only an added bonus. It had little or nothing to do with why he liked her.
Who are these guys!? What planet are they from, and when can you get a ride there? These guys exist here on Earth. They are not some other species. In fact, you probably know some of them. These are the virtuous guys you know from camp or the youth forum. Some of these guys were leaders in their dorms and gave speeches at camp. They came back as staff or counselors so they could see their friends and help set a good example. They asked good questions and had good answers on the youth forum. Maybe you weren't good friends with them, but you still trusted them. You couldn't say anything bad about them. I am good friends with people like this. I don't know all of these types of guys, but I know they are out there. They are looking for virtuous women. Just because a girl is really attractive does not mean that they like her or are interested in her. These truly good men will always choose an unatractive virtuous woman over a beautiful woman with some ok qualities.
Next time I plan on showing how the non-virtuous man thinks about these things and why there aren't many of these virtuous men out there. It will take a little while for everything to fit together, but be patient. I hope that my insights can help women better understand men, see that not all men are the same, and that we aren't as different from women as everyone else would like you to believe. Yes, men and women are different, that's why we're men and women! However, we're not a different species.
I hope this first installment has been helpful. Let me know what you think of it so far.
posted by Charles Fan at
2:52 PM
1 Comments:
Excellent post Ian, I think the catch 22 of it all is, I think "some" meaning "most" but "not all" girls stereotype men in this group of "I'm just basing all of my relationships on pure attraction alone, all I want is the really slutty flirtatious girl that is super attractive" Women don't realize how much of a turn-off this is to ...well some men. Ok let me put it this way, the *worldly* men of today not only ruin it for girls everywhere by being very shallow. But also ruin it for men to by making women assume men are only going for that *hot* looking girl. Which inevitably makes women try to act and be more beautiful. Making themselves centered to themselves only. Which is were the cool factor comes in, but that's an entirely different subject. And so now you have boys and girls both being shallow/acting slutty. Which is... basically the opinion each sex has of eachother. So lets recap, male acts shallow, woman tries to be pretty to be accepted, assumes that's what men really want, men who don't really act that way look for someone who doesn't act flirtatious, realize that is hard to find. So yeah it's hard to understand eachother in this world consumed and ruled by satan, I won't touch on the lust factor now. Josh Kerr summed that up wonderfully and I believe Ian will touch on that later.
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Benjammin, at 4:33 PM
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