Us and Them All Over Again

And the winner is...some other guy. We've heard the saying that nice guys finish last. Unfortunately, it's not far from the truth. Virtuous guys are nice guys. They're sweet, caring, compassionate, friendly, helpful, all of that good stuff. Whether they are just friends or in a relationship, they will be there for you. They will help if they can, and they really do care about you. These are qualities you want in a guy, whether a friend or a boyfriend, right? So how come virtuous guys don't get the girl, or at least not right away? How come everyone else but the virtuous guy has some girl showing interest in him? I'm not talking about the 22 year old virtuous guy, I'm talking about the teenage virtuous guy.

The teenage virtuous guy doesn't get into a relationship; he doesn't want one yet. He wants things to be just right before dating the right girl. That's why he waits until he's about 22 or older (there are exceptions of course). He still has to go through college first, get a job, council for baptism, all of that good stuff. He wants to be moving in the right direction so he can take that virtuous babe along with him. Most virtuous guys don't live near that virtuous girl, and might choose to move near her before dating.

The teenage virtuous guy is waiting before he makes his move. He's preparing himself, but in the mean time, he's doing the best he can. He can't prove he'll be that great protector and provider while he's still in high school. He might not have his exact career nailed down until his later years in college. Until that time, the virtuous guy does the best he can. He acts like a virtuous man, treats you as an important friend, and only does good things for you.

So how come these great guys, who plan on becoming greater, are looked over and ignored? Women don't show much interest in these guys. As far as the virtuous guy can tell, no girl is interested in him. A few girls may have had a crush on him for a month, and then get over it. Big deal. The virtuous guy doesn't want to date anyone, but it helps to know that he's doing the right things and that women are noticing.

"He deserves a great woman." Is that code talk for "Go find some other great woman"? Obviously there are only going to be a certain amount of girls that will like a guy, but for the virtuous guy, he knows of little to no girls that like him (once again, there are exceptions). What is the virtuous guy doing that is wrong? As far as he can tell, nothing.

And what does the virtuous guy see? Unvirtuous guys who have virtuous or unvirtuous girlfriends. Unvirtuous and virtuous girls going after these unvirtuous guys. What is he supposed to think? "Wow, this being a great guy stuff really doesn't work. I should start dressing and acting like a jerk. I should create some problems in my life. I should become known for creating useless drama in everyone else's lives. Maybe then girls will be interested in me."

I've explained one of the reasons why guys go for the unvirtuous woman: she's attractive. That's easy to understand. But why do virtuous and unvirtuous women choose that contaminated bottle of water (think back to camp)? Why is the pure water passed up? I've only heard one good answer so far (which I won't tell you, maybe), but it still isn't enough for me.

Why do nice guys finish last? Why do we have to wait for some women to choose the contaminated water before realizing that it tastes horrible? Guys do the same thing too, but I've already given one good reason why.

Why doesn't this post really apply to the 22 year old virtuous guy? Because by then the woman has probably realized that he's the type of guy she wants. By then they see where the guy is going in his life, and she wants to go with him. The nice guy finishes last, but he still finishes.

Nice guys want to know why they are overlooked. They want to know why you would settle for anything less than the best. They want to know what unpure water has that pure water doesn't (besides nasty impurities). They also want to know that even though you may not like them, that they are doing the right things. "You deserve a great girl" doesn't always cut it.

Did my examples represent every situation or line of thinking? No. I just picked a common situation and line of thinking and went with it. My point wasn't to show every situation, but to show how virtuous men think, which was best explained using a common example.

If anyone has some insight into why virtuous and non-virtuous women go for the impure water, it would be mucho appreciated.