A recipe for disaster

I've been gone for quite a while, but now that I have a new computer, I'm back! Yes, I am back and with new stuff to rant about! Yay!

Here's a scenario: I assume that if you're reading this, you are a guy or a girl. You are probably a teenager or a little older than that. In case this never happened to you (which I highly doubt), imagine that you're in your early to mid-teens and that there is a girl or a guy that you really like. This person might be your first really big crush, the first person that you really like for the right reasons, or the first person you could really see yourself with in the future. The first person seems to be the one that people get attached to the most, that they compare future potential boyfriends/girlfriends to, so I'll use that person in the scenario (in your life it might not have been the first person that you felt this way towards). Also, this person that you like is the same age as you. You're probably a pretty good person, and the person you like is probably a good person too. Here's the kicker: some time has gone by, you two have gotten to know each other, and you both like each other.

Sounds nice, doesn't it? No, it's a recipe for disaster! In a universe where stuff goes right this is a great situation. In our universe, the odds of things working out between them are a lot closer to zero than one might first imagine. How can this be? What crazy ideas have filled my mind since I last posted something on this site!?

I'll do what Fox News claims to do: I'll report and you'll decide. First off there's no guarantee that either of you like just one person. There's probably competition you have to deal with. What's that competition like? Guys can go for girls with a lower religious quality than they should and visa versa. The bad boy/bad girl is more fun. You're too young to get married, why not have fun until you're ready to get married!?

First off, fun doesn't prepare you for marriage. It might help you see what qualities that "fun" person has that you wish they had. You can learn from it, but it's not the best way to learn. This brings up my next point: this person in my scenario that you're interested in (most likely the first person you've become attached to) will probably just be a learning experience. I know so many people that didn't end up with that first person. Think about it yourself, how often does that happen?

I personally believe that relationship stuff is best learned through experience. People and relationships are different; your experiences will be different than someone else's. You can be taught guidelines, see other people's examples, but we're all unique, and that's why I think the best way for people to learn about relationship stuff is by experiencing it on their own. (Note: I'm not saying that you have to start dating that person to learn. How do you act around that person? Do you stop acting like yourself and try to impress them? Why are you really interested in that person? Are you more attracted to their looks? Do you really just want someone to like you back? Those are just some questions you ask yourself and learn from while you're still getting to know someone. And, as a technicality, friendships are relationships.)

So back to the scenario. You and this person you like will probably be a learning experience for each other. You obviously don't know everything (or maybe anything) about real love. Mistakes will be made, and probably not just by you. That's not a recipe for success.

Oh, and one more thing. You're both the same age. That pretty much means you're screwed. It's a stereotype that girls go for the older guy. It becomes a stereotype because it's usually true. Older guys are more mature, are probably closer to baptism (if they're not already baptized), and have been in the work force longer and concluded their education sooner (sucks to be you, why couldn't you have been born two years earlier?). Guys can't go for even slightly younger girls until they're about 20 (a 19 year old dating a 17 year old doesn't sound right in my book for more than one reason). Guys going for younger girls might seem cheap and easy. Girls going for older guys is just them getting on the fast track to marriage.

Am I a pessimist? In this case, I'm a realist. I've seen this sort of scenario play out just as I've described. I've seen it more than once, more than twice. I've seen the same conclusion happen different ways. I'm sorry to say I don't have some happy way to turn this around. I try and point out the good things in my posts, even when things seem bad. In this case, all I can say is that if you went through this scenario I described, you probably reached the same conclusion; you tried, you failed, you learned, and you moved on. You thought you found 'the one', and it didn't work out. Learn from it and move on is all I can say. Freak out about the situation for a bit, but move on.

Maybe someone out there has a different perspective, or some light at the end of the tunnel that I don't see. Two people learning about love and themselves is about the only good thing I can see from this. And maybe some reassurance. Don't feel bad that it didn't work out. It probably wasn't supposed to, not then anyways. Maybe later, maybe with someone else, but don't get yourself down when things didn't work out the first time. Hopefully you've become a better man or woman because of it, and can be a better person for that special someone you eventually end up with.