The blog of a man STILL addicted to beef jerky

Friday, April 06, 2007

The world is a one way street of crap

The world is crap and full of crap ideas. The world bombards us with the ideas that women are goddesses and are these extra special people that can get away with crap because they have different anatomy. So you've got different anatomy, good for you. So I'm attracted to you, good for...one of us. Explain why you're so extra special. Oh wait, let me look at advertising, see if that can explain why you are just so darn special.

I would like to add that I am not sexist, just really annoyed with the crap ideas that the world throws at us, and I am attacking that, not people with two X chromosomes.

In general, if there is a commercial where the woman plays the main role, there are two types of women used; the serious woman, and the goddess woman. The serious woman is about age 30 or so, and talks to you about osteoperosis, minivans, or pre-made lunch foods for your children that will give them cancer in 20 years. The other is the goddess woman, who usually doesn't talk much, because it usually isn't really what she has to say that makes her a goddess, it's how she looks. What is a goddess commercial like?

Look at me, I'm so hot, and look at how I move around, I'm an independent woman, and look at how my hair flows around me, I'm so wonderful...by the way, this leg shaver is pretty good, it makes me feel hot, and independent, and wonderful.

There's also this one that I've hated for a while. Oh no, there's this wire, and it goes behind the wall, and it's connected to something I don't like. I'm gonna pull that wire through the wall, and it happens to travel through most of the room, and make a big freaking mess, but I've reached what that wire is connected to. I'm gonna smile and make my husband clean up after me, because I'm too...well, there's no reason why he should have to clean it up, since I was stupid and made a big mess, but I have the goddess mentality, I am just that good because I'm a woman, so I don't care. Just as long as he still loves me after I intentionally do something really stupid, and as long as he doesn't bring it up, because that would impede on how important I feel.

Movies are advertising, let's go there. The Princess Bride. Woman treats guy like crap, guy puts up with it. She eventually realizes that she loves him (and by "loves him", I mean that she took advantage of an opportunity that would play out in her favor, because the guy kept saying "as you wish", which basically means "I'll do whatever you want to make you happy, please, exploit the goodness of my heart"), guy decides to still love her after putting up with her crap. Misfortune befalls him, she is heartbroken, and for illogical reasons, vows to never marry (she got attached to her hot boy toy from Robin Hood: Men In Tights). He rescues her, but she eventually finds out that he didn't return to her as fast as he could so that he could pamper her, so she gets upset (forgetting that he just risked his life numerous times for her unthankful butt). Then as he tries to escort her to safety, she is completely useless in situations where he needs help. After other people are dragged into a complicated situation that she has made worse, and her "true love" makes the ultimate sacrifice, the movie of course ends on a positive note, where the guy and girl get together (setting up unrealistic expectations in the minds of optimistic and impressionable little girls who are learning how to exploit guys and that they really don't need to do much except try and be hot in order to get what they want, which in this case, was a man who was trying to be nice but was really setting himself up to get screwed over, but because this was a kid's movie, didn't show the real ending where the guy realizes how stupid it was to devote himself to such a selfish, but hot, woman, who really cared about the emotional attachment she had to his hotness and selfless devotion to her and her desires).

Goddess-like attitudes of treating herself extra special (and in return treating the guy like crap on purpose), making rash, illogical decisions because she feels like it, being upset that the guy didn't put forth 100% effort to always be with her, even though he just risked his life to be with her, and not returning the effort to be helpful when he needed help, those goddess-like attitudes pervade this movie.

The goddess is special, beautiful, desirable, independent when she doesn't need help, only dependent when she can't do stuff by herself, does not talk about times where she needed help because those are not events that happen to a goddess, thinking of herself first and foremost, forgetting the good that you did and focusing on something you did/didn't do because she never communicated for you to do/not do that thing, is allowed to make mistakes that she shouldn't have to clean up, expects the guy to clean up after her, expects the guy not to make mistakes, expects people to know what she wants at all times, yet somehow wants to be mysterious.

Simply put, the goddess is selfish. The goddess wants the guy to risk himself for her, but doesn't want to do the same for him. The guy risks things for her and does things for her, and the goddess thinks that because she is a goddess, that she is fair compensation to the guy. There is no guarantee the guy will be fairly compensated for what he does, but the goddess has a man who will do stuff for her and take care of her, so she is happy, and that's what really matters.

The guy wants to do stuff for her, take care of her, make her feel happy and special. Those things should be done because he wants to do them, not because she is some extra special girl that thinks too highly of herself and expects stuff from people. The girl shouldn't do crap on purpose. The girl shouldn't have the hypocritical "I'm independent except for all the times that I'm not, but we won't mention those because they make me feel less special" persona. The guy shouldn't have to wonder if all his time and effort devoted to this girl will end up in a fair compensation (getting a woman who will put back time and effort).

Men and women are different; we have responsibilities and ways of thinking and whatnot, but we're equals. We're both human, we both make mistakes, we both want to love and be loved, we both have the same opportunities for eternal life. I'm sorry, but you are not some extra special thing that should be put on a pedestal. You're a person, period. Be realistic, be sensible, don't do stupid crap on purpose, don't think you're all that. Just be a real person who treats others the way they should be treated, and you know what? Someone just might want to treat you like a goddess (in some ways) because they love you, not because you love yourself.

Be real and stay away from the "women are extra special because they can seduce people and society says that women should be treated in ways that are totally unrealistic" crap the world throws at us.

7 Comments:

  • I agree with you to a certain extent about the whole "goddess woman". But at the same time those "goddess women" do not make things better for women. They may show some "empowered" woman but they do not make the women who whatch the advert empowered.

    Are the girls looking at the Venus razor adds going "wow she's hott"? No, there not. A girl who wants a freakin razor doesn't need to be shown a "goddess" woman in a skimpy bikini to make a decision about which type to get. The woman in the skimpy bikini is there merely for the benefit of the viewers who do not have two X chromosomes.

    The "goddess" women merely degrade women viewers. The only reason a girl is going to buy the stupid razor is because her boyfriend is looking at the "goddess" on the TV thinking how hott she is and the girlfriend is like, "oh man if I want to have that kind of attention from my boyfriend I'd better go buy that razor".

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:56 PM  

  • Wow, Ian...bitter? :)

    A bit of a disagreement with anonymous...women do constantly compare themselves to other women. Women buy magazines filled with pictures of airbrushed beautiful women and compare themselves to those women, hoping they can be like them. Women dress up for other women. Seeing scantily clad women with sexy legs on TV does make you want to buy that razor so you can be sexy like those goddesses. Showing women in advertisements sells: both for men and for women.

    By Blogger Annette, at 9:27 PM  

  • I agree with Annette. Ian, take deep breaths. There are women out there who are both beautiful *and* virtuous :)

    By Blogger Ducky, at 10:49 PM  

  • Yeah, I've heard of them before.

    By Blogger Josh K, at 1:24 AM  

  • OK, Ian, you and I don't really know one another, so I apologize if what I'm about to say comes across as rude.

    Your previous post was dedicated entirely to sexy legs and women with sexy legs and how you would like for women with sexy legs (women who, by the way, appear in these "crap" advertisements) to be converted. I can only imagine you'd want Maria to be called so you could potentially have a "hot" girlfriend/wife, but I may be out-of-line in that assumption.

    But then you write this post, which outlines why a woman should not think she is so great just because she has sexy legs and why women should not fall victim to the "goddess" advertisements.

    Would you really think Maria is so hot if she weren't glorified by the media? I really really don't want to sound rude, but perhaps if men didn't so "positively" react to the idolization of the female form, women wouldn't feel they have such power and wouldn't strive to be "goddesses."

    By Blogger Desiree, at 8:28 PM  

  • You do make a valid point. The media sends the message that women are smarter than men, and should use their sexuality to manipulate their male counterparts. It's all for the better, anyway, right?

    Unfortunately this is received by both sexes. Women subsequently use their charm (if you really want to call it that) to win the affections of men; men are convinced that the only thing a woman has to offer is her physical beauty and sexual prowess. In the end, both parties are left empty and unfulfilled.

    The man feels emasculated and seeks to validate that through some other outlet (another woman, sports, career, etc.), while the woman is left feeling unappreciated and worthless, and she, in turn, seeks to validate herself.

    There is the potential for either side to become cynical, but that's not really a solution. Cynicism is more of a fear than a perception.

    By the way, I'd recommend "10 Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger, and "Wild at Heart," by John Eldredge.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:17 PM  

  • Wow, I've been away from my blog for quite a while (haven't really been inspired). To respond to you Desiree, the earlier post about women's legs was a true but "fun" post. A guy would certainly enjoy it if his spouse had sexy legs. I used her as an example because tennis players usually have sexy legs, and there probably was some tennis event on tv that I saw her in when I made the post. As I said in my post, it's not something we need, but if those legs are connected to our spouse (they're kind of like an added bonus), then you won't hear any complaints.

    Would I think she's so hot if she wasn't glorified by the media? I could care less what the media thinks is hot, cool, or whatever. I live by a different standard than what is presented by the media; I usually listen to music that's different than what the media pushes on us (I like classic rock); I choose what shows I like (Star Trek: TNG for instance), definitely not stuff the media wants me to watch. Maria Sharapova is attractive and in shape. I don't think she looks better when she puts on her make up and does her photo shoots (the times when her beauty is supposed to the highlight, not her tennis ability/legs).

    Men do react "positively" to attractive women. Guess who made that a part of our character? Someone who knows more than you and I do. It's not the best male quality. It gets exploited (shame on you women that exploit us), but how else are you going to get a man's attention during an advertisement? Attractive women can be used in most forms of advertisement, and as part of our nature, we're gonna check out that picture/commercial. To be fair, guys in general have been treated like children that get their way; unless you stop giving them what they want, they're not gonna change. If women lower their standards and focus on looks, why would a guy change? I'm referring to the average worldly guy by the way. Men aren't being forced to change their habits and stop focusing on looks, women aren't forcing men to stop focusing on looks, the problem continues.

    Very long answer, but the Sharapova post was meant to be a fun one (I guess it was so short and to the point that it might not have come off that way), God designed men to react the way they do towards women, and women aren't making worldly guys stop focusing on looks.

    Oh, and you didn't come across as rude. :)

    By Blogger Charles Fan, at 9:35 PM  

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