Stop with the hotness already!

For some reason, a line from the Simpsons comes to mind. The minister's wife would occasionally say in a histerical voice "Won't someone please think of the children!?" Well, won't someone please think of the guys? Yes women, I'm looking right at you when I say that.

Before thoughts of misogyny (look it up) invade your brain, let me elaborate. Women are hot. It's pretty much the truest fact of life for men. The sun rises every day, water is good for you, flatulence is funny, women are hot. There's no changing it, no denying it.

So here's the thing: we don't want to see your hotness. Seriously, we don't. Your tummy might be nice and flat, your legs might be slim and tan, and your whatever might be whatever, but we don't need to see it. Got a hot picture of yourself in a 2 piece bathing suit with your bffs who are also in 2 piece bathing suits? Don't make it your default myspace picture. Got another picture of you in short shorts and a tight t-shirt while you try and give your best 'happy and innocent even though everyone knows that you're not innocent and you can turn that happy face on any time you want' smile? Don't waste your time uploading it to Ringo. You'll pretty much just get perverted guys saying "ur hot" or your girl friends telling you "dang girl, your soooooo sexy!" Unless that's really what you want.

Bad but possibly funny analogy time: Men are like drug dogs and attractive women are like bags of crack and heroine. The drug dog does not want to know there are drugs in the area. Drug dog doesn't want to think "Oh man, there's some mighty fine crack over there" or "check out that marijuana." Drug dog wants to go about his business without constantly being distracted. Drug dog didn't ask to have a hightened perception of narcotics, but it's a fact of life.

Yes, guys also need to do their part too by not encouraging women to dress a certain way, and practicing self-control (which basically lasts their entire lifetime) when some hotty walks by (not diverting the eyes, not spending more time with one woman than another just because she's more attractive).

We want modesty. Yes, other guys don't want modesty, and even guys that do want modesty might not always act like it. But it's the truth. Here's are two simple equations that sum up our opinion of modesty and hotness: hotness before marriage = bad; hotness after marriage = good. I'm not saying or implying or asking or wanting you to get rid of or never wear your shorts or bathing suits or something ridiculous like that. I'm saying that it's in our best interest if you don't put a stumbling block in our way.

When a guy's married to his wife, oh yes, hotness all the way. Until then, we don't want to see how attractive 90% of your body looks. Whether you're in modest clothes or something that's more than just a little revealing, we'll still know you're attractive. Also, it doesn't send us the best message if you're flaunting your body around all the time.

We simply ask that when you upload a picture of yourself or buy a bunch of new clothes for this year or whatever, consider that although the clothes may be cute or the picture may be a good memory, that it may be a disservice to guys.