Men everywhere, listen up!

I have discovered the four best ways to get the ladies. First, you have to chew gum or have breath mints in your mouth all the time. Women will be attracted to you when they smell how cool and refreshing your breath is! Secondly, you have to drive a cool car. You know you've found the right woman when she respects you for your car, and not your body. Thirdly, you have to have a cool six pack of beer with you everywhere you go. Whether it's at the office, in an elevator, or at the beach, women are always looking for a guy with beer. Now if these things don't work, then you'll have to go for the coup de grace. Apply Axe and/or Tag body spray to yourself, and you'll have women and their mothers literally fighting over you. This is so much easier than the old days, where you had to be nice to a girl, and say or do things to get her attention. You wanna know how I know that I'm right? There are commercials on tv that prove it. It would be blatant false advertising to have a woman swarm all over a guy with Axe or Tag body spray if that wasn't what really happened. What type of woman would be a part of a commercial like that? Well everyone, when you see me next time, I'll have women flocking all over me, and you'll know why.

Disclaimer: What you just read was completely fictitious. Do not, for any reason, believe that I meant what I wrote. It was purely made to make people laugh. If anyone would like to give me real pointers on how to pick up the ladies, they would be most appreciated.

Disclaimer disclaimer: The last sentence in the disclaimer was not meant to be taken literally. No, I'm not doing awesome with the ladies, but what I wrote made me look like I needed serious help. If you feel obligated to offer advice, I won't stop you, but don't do it out of pity, please. Thank you.