"C" is for Crazy Foolishness
School is out, and it feels good to not have to do work every day. To be honest though, I'm actually missing college. My friends, playing tennis every day, all the food I want, the campus, having stuff to do with my time, actually learning stuff. Yeah, somewhat wanting work is pathetic, I know. Just so you don't get the wrong impression, I am glad to be back home. There's nothing like home-cooked food. You are so much more thankful to have home-cooked meals when you go without them for a while. Plus I get to see my dad, my cat, I can watch some of the shows I've missed, I have my own room, and my own shower.
Now for the moment you've all been waiting for, my thought(s) of the night. My thought occured last night after playing tennis with my dad. It was going well at first. Then what usually happens, happened. Out of nowhere, something happens in my mind, and there is no fluency between thought and action. It's almost like my mind is not focused, even though I'm completely devoted and focused to the game. Changing how I play, my mindset, nothing works. It goes off and on, and I've gotten to the point where I can tell whether I'll actually do what my mind tells my body to do, or not. Anywho, it's random, out of my control, and the result is that I lose. Yeah, I have gotten a lot better at tennis, but I can still lose just as well. Until I can prove that I can win more, I can't say that I've really improved that much.
That sort of thinking reminded me of my life. I should do better than what I'm doing, but I'm not, and usually I can blame random things out of my control as the main reason why. I've improved in my life, but my life still isn't successful yet, so I can't say that I've really achieved and improved. So then I applied the same line of thinking to my spiritual life. The difference is that random things don't control my spiritual life, I do. Yet somehow the results are the same. I improve as a person, learn more of the Bible, see how to apply it, yet I make the same mistakes, or the same ammount of mistakes. Did I really improve? If I have no evidence to show success in my spiritual life, the answer must be no.
That's a scary thought. I hate how in my life I can't control what's going on around me. I had wanted more control over my physical life, but I guess that if I had more control, the results wouldn't really be that much different. I think that in order for God to give me control over my physical life, I should learn to conquer my spiritual life better. And actually, I should have Christ conquer me. That's the first step. I need to control the part of my life that I actually can control. Why would God give me control over other parts of my life if I can't control the parts that I should?
Now I pose my question of the night for you all, keeping in mind what I said earlier: Over the past year, with all the stuff you've learned and done, have you really improved as a Christian? Do you still make the same mistakes, or the same ammount of big mistakes? I can tell you all right now that I have grown more in the last year than previous years. Yet with all that I've learned, I'm still coming up short, still not really improving. I think my spiritual life inched forward a little bit. Yeah, I moved forward, slightly, but that's not what someone does if they run a race with endurance.
Really look at yourselves, compare your spiritual successes and failures to those of a year ago, and honestly answer yourself if you've really improved or not. If the answer is no, get your act in gear! My slogan of the week is that God chooses those who choose God. Are you choosing God? If you are, or you want to, then a year from now, you should be able to say that you truly improved. It may not be by leaps and bounds, but a step in the right direction is still a step in the right direction.
That's all for tonight. Be honest with yourselves, be honest with God, and keep choosing God in all that you do.
Now for the moment you've all been waiting for, my thought(s) of the night. My thought occured last night after playing tennis with my dad. It was going well at first. Then what usually happens, happened. Out of nowhere, something happens in my mind, and there is no fluency between thought and action. It's almost like my mind is not focused, even though I'm completely devoted and focused to the game. Changing how I play, my mindset, nothing works. It goes off and on, and I've gotten to the point where I can tell whether I'll actually do what my mind tells my body to do, or not. Anywho, it's random, out of my control, and the result is that I lose. Yeah, I have gotten a lot better at tennis, but I can still lose just as well. Until I can prove that I can win more, I can't say that I've really improved that much.
That sort of thinking reminded me of my life. I should do better than what I'm doing, but I'm not, and usually I can blame random things out of my control as the main reason why. I've improved in my life, but my life still isn't successful yet, so I can't say that I've really achieved and improved. So then I applied the same line of thinking to my spiritual life. The difference is that random things don't control my spiritual life, I do. Yet somehow the results are the same. I improve as a person, learn more of the Bible, see how to apply it, yet I make the same mistakes, or the same ammount of mistakes. Did I really improve? If I have no evidence to show success in my spiritual life, the answer must be no.
That's a scary thought. I hate how in my life I can't control what's going on around me. I had wanted more control over my physical life, but I guess that if I had more control, the results wouldn't really be that much different. I think that in order for God to give me control over my physical life, I should learn to conquer my spiritual life better. And actually, I should have Christ conquer me. That's the first step. I need to control the part of my life that I actually can control. Why would God give me control over other parts of my life if I can't control the parts that I should?
Now I pose my question of the night for you all, keeping in mind what I said earlier: Over the past year, with all the stuff you've learned and done, have you really improved as a Christian? Do you still make the same mistakes, or the same ammount of big mistakes? I can tell you all right now that I have grown more in the last year than previous years. Yet with all that I've learned, I'm still coming up short, still not really improving. I think my spiritual life inched forward a little bit. Yeah, I moved forward, slightly, but that's not what someone does if they run a race with endurance.
Really look at yourselves, compare your spiritual successes and failures to those of a year ago, and honestly answer yourself if you've really improved or not. If the answer is no, get your act in gear! My slogan of the week is that God chooses those who choose God. Are you choosing God? If you are, or you want to, then a year from now, you should be able to say that you truly improved. It may not be by leaps and bounds, but a step in the right direction is still a step in the right direction.
That's all for tonight. Be honest with yourselves, be honest with God, and keep choosing God in all that you do.
posted by Charles Fan at
2:04 AM
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5 comments
