Don't be a brick wall
Ok ladies, so you like this guy, and either you know he likes you, or think he does. And you want things between you two to move forward. How do you do that? What do you do?
Whatever you do, don't be a brick wall.
Brick walls are emotionless objects that prevent people from going forward. If you think some guy likes you, and you would like him to, don't treat him like every other guy. This isn't a game of poker where the other person has to guess if you really have a full house or if you're bluffing.
It's the guy's responsibility to eventually ask the girl out. It's not the easiest thing in the world. It's a little scary for us guys. But you know what, we're man enough to do it...if we have good reason to. You want us to put it all on the line for you? Give us a couple good reasons to.
If it's the man's responsibility to ask her out, what is the woman's responsibility? To make the guy guess whether this brick wall really feels anything for him? To put the guy through stress because he really wants to ask her out, but because she doesn't put much, if any, effort into showing how she feels, he doesn't ask her out? Is it her responsibility to play hard to get and completely screw around with the guy's emotions because he has no idea if she feels anything for him or if she's putting him through hell just to see if he's really devoted to her?
No, I believe it's her responsibility to not be a brick wall, but to show some emotion, to put some effort into it. Be patient with how you show your emotions, be natural, don't rush things, but at least show something. Show that you enjoy yourself, call him from time to time, for example. Bottom line: PUT SOME EFFORT INTO IT.
If you've already got a good friendship with the guy and you do those things to show that you like being around him, put effort into staying in contact with him, stuff like that, he'll still agonize over whether you like him or not, but at least he'll have something to go on. He'll have reason to go forward.
Do you want someone who you don't like to ask you out? I'm guessing you probably wouldn't, because you'd rather the person that you like to ask you out instead (if the time is right of course). Treat that guy that you like a little differently and give him the green light to keep going forward.
Guys really hate it when women act like brick walls. In contrast, we like women who do their part, put forth the effort, and help things run smoothly. Does a guy want to date a woman who he thinks won't put forth effort to keep the relationship alive, or one who seemingly doesn't care about the emotional distress he goes through because of her? Heck no.
Asking a girl out can be a risk/reward situation. If we had a choice between asking out a girl who we like but is a brick wall, and not asking her out and keeping a good friendship alive rather than potentially screwing it up, we'll almost always choose to keep the friendship going. Why? The friendship could get screwed up if we she says no, and if she says yes, we may end up with someone who won't put their fair share of effort into the relationship, neither of which we want.
Do the Christian thing, and be helpful. Be a good friend, and help us. Don't be afraid to show some emotion and help things move along. Don't make us give up on you because you never put forth the effort.
Whatever you do, don't be a brick wall.
Brick walls are emotionless objects that prevent people from going forward. If you think some guy likes you, and you would like him to, don't treat him like every other guy. This isn't a game of poker where the other person has to guess if you really have a full house or if you're bluffing.
It's the guy's responsibility to eventually ask the girl out. It's not the easiest thing in the world. It's a little scary for us guys. But you know what, we're man enough to do it...if we have good reason to. You want us to put it all on the line for you? Give us a couple good reasons to.
If it's the man's responsibility to ask her out, what is the woman's responsibility? To make the guy guess whether this brick wall really feels anything for him? To put the guy through stress because he really wants to ask her out, but because she doesn't put much, if any, effort into showing how she feels, he doesn't ask her out? Is it her responsibility to play hard to get and completely screw around with the guy's emotions because he has no idea if she feels anything for him or if she's putting him through hell just to see if he's really devoted to her?
No, I believe it's her responsibility to not be a brick wall, but to show some emotion, to put some effort into it. Be patient with how you show your emotions, be natural, don't rush things, but at least show something. Show that you enjoy yourself, call him from time to time, for example. Bottom line: PUT SOME EFFORT INTO IT.
If you've already got a good friendship with the guy and you do those things to show that you like being around him, put effort into staying in contact with him, stuff like that, he'll still agonize over whether you like him or not, but at least he'll have something to go on. He'll have reason to go forward.
Do you want someone who you don't like to ask you out? I'm guessing you probably wouldn't, because you'd rather the person that you like to ask you out instead (if the time is right of course). Treat that guy that you like a little differently and give him the green light to keep going forward.
Guys really hate it when women act like brick walls. In contrast, we like women who do their part, put forth the effort, and help things run smoothly. Does a guy want to date a woman who he thinks won't put forth effort to keep the relationship alive, or one who seemingly doesn't care about the emotional distress he goes through because of her? Heck no.
Asking a girl out can be a risk/reward situation. If we had a choice between asking out a girl who we like but is a brick wall, and not asking her out and keeping a good friendship alive rather than potentially screwing it up, we'll almost always choose to keep the friendship going. Why? The friendship could get screwed up if we she says no, and if she says yes, we may end up with someone who won't put their fair share of effort into the relationship, neither of which we want.
Do the Christian thing, and be helpful. Be a good friend, and help us. Don't be afraid to show some emotion and help things move along. Don't make us give up on you because you never put forth the effort.
posted by Charles Fan at
3:49 PM
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4 comments
